Bert Schnick


Originally from Europe (or so it seems by Betty's discovery of microfilm; his birthplace is unknown), Bert Schnick is a popular television celebrity.  He hosts Marriage Maze, a game show for disfunctional spouces, as well as the 30-second quiz.  He has fooled many people into believing that he was blind, when in actuallity, he is not.  He has an infatuation with "peeping" in on girls in their shower.  He sleeps sitting up.  He has a German accent, and speaks some German words.  He has an adoration for fine delicacies, such as caviar.  Black is his favorite color.  (Source: Shock Treatment)


Bert watched his ensemble break up in the months to follow.  While several moved out of state (quite a few to New York), he chose to stay in Denton, in  attempt to remain a TV game show host.  He was very popular for a long time to come.  People got tired of Marriage Maze and so he started a new show, Disfunctional Divorce.  It lasted only 3 seasons before the scandal hit.  Bert Schnick was arrested for "peeping" into women's bedroom and bathroom windows.  After serving 2 years in prison, he went to college and got a doctor's degree.  He's now a noted eye doctor in New York City, and has never returned to Denton.  Recently, he has been seen at a donut shop, admiring a beautiful diamond ring that looks a lot like one that was stolen from Nation McKinley, a month before.
If you have any updated information on what may have happened to this person, rumors or facts, please email us at and we will gladly include the information on this page.  Rumored information does NOT have to be confirmed - just let us know what you found out.  Thanks.