This one was submitted by member Steve Worek.  Read his shocking captions below.

"Say that again, Chuckie, and I'll bitch slap you back to 'Diamonds Are Forever'!"

Part One, How To Recognize A Mason: a mason can twist his or her lower arm 360 degrees.
Part Two, How To Give Up Being A Mason: Have a blind German fruit dance around in circles, presumably scaring the Mason out of the subject.

"Psst, that creepy lady with the purple pants staring at me again?"

"Yes, hello Dentonians and welcome back to the seventh annual Funny Faces of DTV contest!  Judge Wright is in the lead with a stern look and scrunched lips as Betty Hapschatt picks up the rear with tight lips accented by, yes, aNOTHer stern glance!"

Oliver: "Betty, why are you consistingly glaring at that woman in the green dress?"
Betty: "Dammit, Ollie!  It's Little Bo Peep again!  Go up there and tell her, NO, we don't have her sheep, and to piss off!"

Betty: "(sniff)...(sniff)...Oliver, was that you?"
Oliver: "Uh, hrm, mmmm....mrphrfphrm."
Betty: "What?"
Oliver (quietly): "Mphrfphrfrm."
Betty: "God, Oliver, I told you, wait until you're near Bert!  It really pisses him off, and he can never find out who did it!"
Oliver: "Yes Betty, but if he can't figure it out, he gets determined.  And I refuse to have that powderpuff anywhere near my backside."

Regular Farley Fan Club member Steve Worek keeps 'em comin' !!   Read 'em below!

"Can't hold it, can't hold it....(Pblblblblblblblblb) Oh, that just blew my TV career."

"Keep holding your breath, Janet!  Come on!  You gotta beat the record! (BOOM!) Oops."

Janet forces her self to break her habit of laughing at the blind.

"Ms. Harper, I'm sorry, this album didn't make it onto the charts either.  Ms. Harper....Ms. Harper?"  [Janet suddenly produces a deafening sound resembling that of an attacking lion, and rips the record company executive to shreds.]"

Janet, ready to burst into tears after someone warned her that she'll grow up to be just like her mother.

Janet: "Why are we always sooner or later bitchin' in the kitchen and I'm just a sweet transvestite!"
Brad: "What did you say?"
[Janet's face is horribly blushed.]
Janet: "Uhhh...I said I'm just so neat and pristine.  That's all I said."