WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE ROCKY HORROR!
You are about to read confidential information that has been smuggled to this website. The F.B.I. has kept it hidden, marked as CONFIDENTIAL, and sealed in a vault. Be warned it is not for the timid...
What you hold in your hand is a transcript of documents found in the crater where the castle had sat. The documents, written in English, were written by a man named Riff Raff, a noble servant to his master, Frank N. Furter, both from the planet Transexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania. The government wanted this document hidden, and kept his away from the public for many years now.
What you are about to read may frighten you.
I guess I should start from the beginning...
In the galaxy of Transylvania, there are a total of 23 planets. All of them have oxygen to exist by (exactly the same as earth does), and we are close enough to visit each other. The largest planet is called Transexual, and it is considered the "mother planet" to all the planets in the galaxy. The ruler of our galaxy lives on Transexual. She is a beautiful and righteous woman named Queen Andoria. She is truly a wise ruler...when you catch her in a good mood. Her temper is definitely one to remember, but overall, she is a loving and kind woman. She raised Frank N. Furter as her own child, and his own personality is a direct reflection of hers.
I remember the day Frank was born. It was a time of great war (the only one to ever exist within our galaxy, but that's another story). Frank's father died in that great war as Frank was being born. It was unfortunate that his birth caused the death of Frank's mother. The queen, being great friends of Frank's mother, vowed to raise Frank as her own, and named him Frank N. Furter, after his grandfather, the late scientist Dr. Hank M. Furter. Upon birth, Frank was branded 4711 on his leg (an identification process long since removed) and he grew up to be a better scientist than his grandfather, quite possibly the greatest scientist ever to exist in our galaxy.
I was 11 years old when he was born, and I have stuck by his side ever since. I remember in his last year of schooling, there was a galaxy-wide Fair held on Transexual. There were games, booths, and sex to keep everyone entertained. Frank had a science booth set up in the center of the fair, and everyone came to see his latest work on display. Halfway through the day, as the fair was quieting, Frank drew his attention to his right, where a large crowd had gathered, surrounding the great metallic field. Frank edged his way to the front of the crowd to witness what all of the excitement was about. What he saw made him fall in love. It was a beautiful girl with short red hair. She was dressed in glittery gold attire, and was tap dancing on the metallic field. Frank's heart melted, and he applauded when she finished. She was looking back at him, and couldn't help but smile. Was she in love too?
Later that evening, she told him that her name was Columbia. She had followed his work for years and was (in her opinion at least) his biggest groupie. She, and her twin sister Ansalong, were from a nearby planet, visiting solely for the fair, and that they were returning to that planet in the morning. This seemed to sadden them both, because little could either of them admit it, they had fallen in love at first sight.
The next morning, Columbia and Ansalong were walking down the street approaching the doors to the Transylvanian Air Station. Suddenly, they heard a noise coming towards them. Columbia turned to notice Frank pulling up beside them, driving a Transylvanian 2-seater, which we have coined the phrase "pick-up truck" after a similar earthly vehical. Frank looked over to Columbia, returning the smile. Frank gave her a wink and proceeded only to stare at her beauty. Columbia felt a change inside of her and instantly knew that she was meant to stay with Frank until the day she died. She cried in tears of joy, and then hugged him.
Columbia remained on Transexual with her new boyfriend, master Frank. Ansalong eventually moved to Transexual to remain close to her sister. Columbia's relationship with Frank was the talk of the town, but in the years to come, something in their relationship would change. Frank began working on a new scientific experiment and saw Columbia less often. Columbia cried many nights on my sister Magenta's shoulders, weeping over her loneliness and Frank's neglect.
No one at the time knew exactly what scientific experiment could be so important to Frank that he would ignore his girlfriend Columbia in such a way to cause her bitterness and loneliness. No one knew why Frank was spending so much time at the local prison.
I guess you're confused by now as to how a prison is involved in this recap of events. The best thing to do is back up a bit to a point of time before Frank met Columbia. Frank had already fell in love...but with a man. He was blonde and muscular. His name was Rocky Horror. Frank was not only in love with him, but obsessed with this young man. Their relationship was cut short, however, when Rocky was arrested for a crime he did not commit. Frank's heart grieved when he was taken to prison, but promised to visit him every week. Shortly afterward, Columbia came along to take Frank's heart, but all in all, Frank never forgot his love for Rocky.
One day, during the happy days of Frank and Columbia's relationship, Frank had discovered a scientific way to create life. The way to do it was simple, quite easily by accident (although he's never revealed the details to me). But still the details needed to be thought out carefully. Frank said he could make a complete man, using body parts from several different bodies and connecting them. He could keep them fresh until he needed them by turning the parts into stone, with his newly invented Medusa machine. That way, he could use them when he was ready. Frank was anxious to get started but had one problem: where would he get the body parts? The lovely Queen Andoria had the solution: Frank was allowed to use any body parts he wished from prisoners in the local prison who were to be executed. This availability of body parts was truly great news and he spent more time at this point in the prison than giving attention to Columbia, who wept every day and night from loneliness.
Even greater news was when Rocky was released from prison one day. They had discovered the real guilty party, so Rocky was proven innocent. Unfortunately, before the day ended, Rocky Horror died in a hit and run accident as he crossed the street towards Frank's private lab. Frank wept, and through tears he vowed to bring Rocky back to life with a new body to replace his damaged one (the accident disfigured all of Rocky except his head). He could use body parts from prisoners in the prison. Frank took Rocky's severed head and preserved it by turning it to stone. Frank ignored Columbia even more now, as he worked harder and harder every day to discover all the details on how to create life.
That explains how everyone got involved, but doesn't really explain our mission here on earth. So let me tell you how our mission came about...
About a year ago, maybe longer, our queen was faced with a most difficult problem: overpopulation. Since everybody in the galaxy enjoyed sex, you could well imagine there are a lot of babies being born everyday. Trouble was, the planets were getting much too crowded. But one day, the queen had an answer: EARTH.
Queen Andoria studied it's atmosphere and found it suitable for Transexual life. And so she sent 16 Transylvanians (maybe more, I'm not sure) to Earth - the United States, to be exact. They were to study it, and report back anything interesting. She told them to blend in, and buy cheap clothing and earthly forms of transportation to help them get around. I personally have found the common motorcycle is the cheapest form of transportation. Perhaps the Transylvanians stranded here on Earth have discovered that as well - I won't know until they arrive to the party tonight. I will watch for them from my bedroom window in the attic.
Anyway, as I was saying: The Transylvanians went to Earth to study it, but the queen never heard from them again. That is why she asked master Frank to go to Earth...to track them down and bring them together on one night (tonight's party) where they will express their findings of earth. She also asked Frank to study Earth and report it back to her as well.
She had this aircraft designed to look like an earth-made castle. I was instructed to pilot the aircraft down to Earth and report back to her as soon as possible. Our visit was to be brief and then quickly return home.
Columbia, of course, came along, trying to salvage whatever she and Frank had left. I was obliged to take my beautiful sister Magenta. The ride there was peaceful, but we had only one problem: The U.S. government zeroed in on our frequencies as we were flying over the United States. I was at the control panel, with Frank at my side. Magenta had been cooking, as Columbia slept. I was surprised to hear an Earthling's voice come through my radio, but not as surprised as Master Frank. He became very nervous when the man on the radio spoke to us...with a rather odd accent.
The man identified himself as an F.B.I. agent by the name of Dr. Everett Von Scott. I don't know which made Frank more nervous: the fact that Everett Scott was an F.B.I. man or a doctor. Frank quickly identified himself, and where we were from, but realized that now he could be in trouble. Nobody was supposed to know they were from another planet.
I quickly jammed the frequency so that we couldn't be found. One hour later, we touched down on land...about 30 miles from a small town called Denton.
The first thing I had to do, at Frank's demand, was build a fence around the castle, complete with a gate. He was concerned that this Dr. Everett Von Scott might want to pay us a visit soon.
Getting the materials to build a fence was easy. Inside the master's lab, there is a machine that acts as a giant magnet. In fact, earlier tonight, Frank used that magnet to pull a motorcycle up the stairs and into the lab. The device is actually quite simple to use. It's a wonder earthlings haven't discovered the technology for such an invention. To gather building materials, Master Frank simply focused his monitor on the supplies needed by directing the television monitor's rays towards Denton, focusing on the inside of a supply store. Our monitor revealed the inside of the large store to contain everything I needed. The store was closed for business at that time, so there would be no witnesses to what was about to happen. Frank used his "magnet" to draw the focused supplies to the castle. Imagine how surprised people who were driving on the roads when they saw all the supplies traveling top speed towards the castle. Ha ha! I wish I could have seen their reactions! Some supplies even got snagged on a hill once, but the magnetic forced caused the supplies to just crash on through it.
I completed the castle's fence and gate within 2 weeks, even adding a hand-made sign that reads ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!! Now the fence could keep out the F.B.I. and keep in Magenta's dogs.
Where did we get Magenta's dogs? In much the same manner that I got my supplies...but with a twist. Frank focused his monitors towards Denton, and saw the dogs, barking behind a high wired fence at a local Denton junkyard. Frank "zapped" the dogs, turning them into stone. Then he used the magnet force to pull the dogs to the castle. It had been Magenta's birthday, and with my persistence, Master Frank gave them to her as a present. She was so delighted to receive four large dogs, that could easily be contained now that the fence was built.
So everything sounds comfortable, doesn't it? Well, that's where you're wrong. Very wrong. The moment that we landed on earth, Frank had forgotten his mission, with the one exception that he had contacted the lost Transylvanians and invited them to the party here tonight. They have been on Earth for a full year now, and so they should be very happy to celebrate the anniversary!
When we landed, Frank was eager to see the country. He turned on his "magnet" to bring him a motorcycle, and then he was off to Denton. But he quickly returned home when he realized his clothing was not proper attire for U.S. citizens. This didn't stop him though, because the next day he was back in Denton, wearing American clothing that he had stolen from a Denton clothing store in the middle of the night.
Oh, don't get me wrong. Frank's intentions were right. He was on a mission from the queen, and that mission was to study earth. On our second night on Earth, he was in town, studying the buildings and people. Suddenly, he noticed a line of people entering a building called DENTON THEATER. Frank realized at once that this must be a town meeting, and they would discuss Earthly issues. There was a sign on the front of the building that read NIGHTLY SHOWINGS. SCIENCE FICTION/DOUBLE FEATURES! TONIGHT'S FEATURES: KING KONG and THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL.
At the time, Frank thought that this King, whom they called Kong, must be Earth's ruler, and that on that evening, Kong would talk about what happens with the Earth when the planet comes to a complete stop. "How scientific," Frank had thought, as he informed me of the details later.
Frank snuck into this building for the "town meeting". He told me that the entire meeting was presented to the citizens on black and white film, much like an entertaining documentary. Frank absorbed all the information given and returned every single night for a new "double feature". He saw many featured messages to the citizens, some headlined as "The day of the Triffids," "Forbidden Planet," and "The Invisible Man" (one that Frank vows to match the formula one day). Oh, by the way, Kong turned out to be a giant ape, and not much of a king at all. Frank was more impressed with someone else in the documentary: a beautiful girl named Fay Wray.
Last week, our queen contacted us and demanded some information. Frank relayed his findings of studies in a long drawn out speech (as he so loves to give speeches). He began with the words "Michael Rennie was ill the day the earth stood still but he told us where we stand." I can't remember all the details he reported back to her. One interesting note though: We were so far away from the queen that she could only pick up Frank's lips on the visual monitor as he relayed to her his findings. That was the last time we have spoken to our queen, only a week ago. To this day, master Frank continues to go to the double features. Once, about two weeks ago, Frank was sitting in the theater when he overheard two people talking in front of him. She called him Brad, and he called her Janet. They spoke of a wedding to happen soon...a union of their friends Ralph and Betty. They even mentioned an address of the church and the date of the wedding: this morning.
Frank was determined that we crash the wedding...but I didn't realize to what extent he wanted to do so. Bright and early this morning, we visited the small chapel and took over the roles of the priest (Frank wanted that role), the caretaker and his wife (Magenta and myself) and the caretaker's daughter (Columbia got stuck with that one). The wedding, as it turned out, was a lot of fun. Little did anyone there know, the actual priest and caretaker family were tied up down in the cellar of the church. (We let them out after the event, don't you worry). Role playing was fun, but Frank didn't really know what to say as a preacher man. Even Columbia seemed to have fun. She seems to have forgotten all about Eddie.
Who's Eddie, you ask? I'm sorry. I guess I should backtrack just a bit. Shortly after we landed on earth (although I'm not exactly sure when), we began receiving a regular visitor to the castle. His name was Eddie, a young hood from Denton, who rode a motorcycle. The reason he visited nearly every day was for two reasons: 1) to deliver drugs to support master Frank's habit, and 2) because he and Columbia had fallen in love.
I don't know how Eddie and Frank met (although I imagine it was on one of Frank's adventures into town). It seems that all of a sudden, this Eddie character was making regular appearances at the castle, selling drugs, such as poppers, uppers, downers, and cocaine. The American money that Frank gave to Eddie in exchange was printed on Transexual before we left. I have no idea if Eddie knows that we are not from Earth, but I believe his mind is so wasted, it wouldn't daze him.
He and Columbia fell in love practically at first sight, although their affair was behind Frank's back. Little did they know, however, Frank was fully aware of their love for one another. Two weeks into the affair, Frank confronted Eddie about it. This only angered Eddie, and the two of them argued. Frank ended up threatening Eddie's life. He warned Eddie to stay away from Columbia or he would kill him.
I personally escorted Eddie out to the castle gates that day. Eddie was furious, and he told me that he was going to write his uncle a letter (whoever his uncle might be) and tell him about Frank's threat. Eddie said that he would write the letter in his own blood (to let his uncle know how serious he was) by cutting his finger with a switchblade knife that he always carried.
I related this information back to my master, that very evening, but he seemed unconcerned. He was more interested in his scientific project. He had connected all the body parts together, and attached the severed head of Rocky Horror. The only thing missing now was a living brain. But where could he get one?
The problem was solved when we returned home today from our role-playing at the church. Frank was working on the creature, when I informed him that Eddie had arrived on his motorcycle, and was standing at the front door, asking for Columbia (regardless of the consequences). This gave Frank an idea. He asked me to let Eddie in and ask him to wait for Columbia in the library (a room we seldom use in the castle). Then, my master ordered me to serve him some wine that was laced with some powerful drugs.
This seemed easy enough. I let Eddie into the castle, where he informed me that the reason he was there was to take Columbia away from this "evil place" for good. I asked Eddie to wait in the lobby for her, because she was bathing. (If truth be known, Columbia and Magenta had just headed into town to pick up some supplies for tonight's party). I offered Eddie some wine (which I had laced) to drink as he waited.
Minutes later, I was in my bedroom, secretly watching my monitor. I had a perfect view of Eddie in the library, although the image was rather dim lit. Eddie was pacing back and forth. He ended up waiting for an entire hour. During that hour, he drank 3 glasses of laced wine, and then laid on the lounge chair to read a book that he had selected called "The Sword Of Damocles". Halfway through the book, he fell asleep, the book and wine glass falling to the library floor.
Minutes later, he was awakened by the sound of the library door opening. In the dim light, Eddie could see Columbia's outline as she approached the lounge chair. She went to his side and wept, saying that she loved him, and that they should leave this castle as soon as everyone went to sleep that night. She suggested to him that he wait in the library until then. It was safer. Then she kissed him on his neck, which seemed to excite him back.
Eddie caressed her short red hair, only to discover that it was a WIG! It was not Columbia at all seducing him. It was Frank in disguise! There would have been a good fight, but Frank hit Eddie on the head with a large book, and Eddie was out cold.
Master Frank and I lugged Eddie's body into the lab so that nobody could find them (as well as his motorcycle, which I've already mentioned). We hid them in the freezer, where Frank told me he would remove half of Eddie's brain for his creation to come to life. The other half would remain in Eddie in the freezer - just in case the first attempt failed. Before closing the freezer door, I noticed a comic book lying on the freezer floor, that had fallen from Eddie's back pocket. A page was open to an advertisement that read "In just 7 days, we can make you a man." It showed a comic strip where a wimpy guy falls in love with a girl on the beach, but this great big guy keeps kicking sand in his face. Finally the wimp uses this product and works out. One week later, the wimp was no longer skinny, and now was pumped with muscles. He ended up humiliating the macho man, and winning the girl. Master Frank looked over my shoulder at the advertisement, reading it. He laughed, turning to Eddie's limp body, saying "Now who's got the girl? I warned you." With those words spoken, Frank closed the freezer door. That should be the last anyone ever hears from Eddie.
But you see, that's my point. It seems that Frank has strayed from his mission here on earth. He seems more concerned with his creation...and power. I have this feeling that I will end up having to destroy Frank, and therefore have stated my reasons in this journal.
I must stop for now, having stated my piece, because I see through my bedroom window that the first guests for the evening have arrived. I can feel the excitement in the air already.
I have this feeling it's going to be an unusual night...
Sincerely, Riff Raff.