Q-BERT!


Question #5, dated 11-10-04 (Yeah, today's July 31, 2005, so Bert's late with this one!)
Hey Bert I think your friend Cosmo McKinley is really cute. Anyway you could hook me up??? Love ya Bert chow.   Sincerely, J.H.
The All Knowing, All Seeing Q-Bert Responds:
Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing .... @!#?@!

Check out what answers other personalities of Bert supplied:

ALL KNOWING, ALL SEEING BERT

EVIL BERT

PEEPING-TOM BERT

GAY BERT


Question #4, dated 2-21-03:
Dearest Bert, I think you are a hot pimp and I want your cute little self.  I want to snuggle up against your polka-dot tie and playfully bite your neck.  Would you like to go out sometime?  Your admirer, Frankie.
The All Knowing, All Seeing Q-Bert Responds:
Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing .... @!#?@!

Question #3, dated 3-03-02:
I thought I would take a clue from you and I started wearing dark glasses and walking with a cane. I walked into my sister's best frend shower calling out for "Jaynet" but insted of getting a quick peek she freaked out and kicked me into the hallway. Whats your secret?  Bill
The All Knowing, All Seeing Q-Bert Responds:
Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing .... @!#?@!

Question #2, dated 6-14-01:
Hi Bert, I have been going to Rocky Horror for three years now, but recently, my mother remarried.  my step-father will not let me go anymore, but he let my three years younger step sister go to the other town midnight movie.  I have tried every excuse and plee I can think of to get him to let me go back to all my friends at the theatre, but he says no. My mother is no help either.  What should I do? Birdy.
The All Knowing, All Seeing Q-Bert responds:
Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing .... @!#?@!

Question #1, dated 7-12-00:
Dear Bert, I hope you can help me.  I just moved into a large city, where a cast plays at a movie theater.  Rocky Horror is SO cool.  I want to act out as Frank because the cast's normal Frank broke his foot or something like that.  Trouble is, my girlfriend hates Rocky Horror and doesn't want me to act out, particularly Frank!  Rocky Horror is in my blood but I don't want to lose her either!  What can I do?  Sincerely, Torn Between Two Loves.
The All Knowing, All Seeing Q-Bert Responds:
Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing Boing booiiinnng boing boing boing booiiinnng boing .... @!#?@!

Email your question to Bert at theshocktreatmentnetwork_contact@hotmail.com and your letter will be posted with Bert's amazing answer!