As Brad and Janet watched Ralph and Betty drive away from the small white chapel of love, they smiled, know that Ralph and Betty's marriage was a wedding made in heaven...or was it? Everybody knew that Ralph had a second eye for a young blonde named Macy Struthers, and it was rumored that he and she were having sex on the side. Now the decorated car was out of sight, and the wedding party was leaving. Brad felt a little nervous, and he had good reason to be: he had something very important to ask Janet, the girl he had been dating since high school. She was a beautiful blonde soprano, who would one day die her hair black, take male hormones, and become a bass. Brad walked Janet into the cemetery behind the church, passing the famous statue of Saint Charles. Neither of them noticed the sign hanging on the arm of the Saint Charles statue which read FOR SALE. Brad turned quickly to face Janet, and then began: "Hey Janet, I've got something to say..." "Yes, Brad?" she replied.

If you think Brad should ask her to marry him in a silly little love song, then go directly to chapter 2.

If you think Brad should ask something else, altogether, then go directly to chapter 3.