ANNOUNCER: "And here to bring you your just desserts and a recipe for a perfect marriage,
is that gorgeous gourmet, tossing the uproarious salad of life, Marriage Maze host...Bert Schnick!"

Floor Manager (off-stage): "Three seconds!"

(Game show theme music starts)

BERT: "Hooplah, Denton!"       AUDIENCE: "Hooplah, Bert!" fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffFEMALE AUDIENCE MEMBER: "Hey Bert, you can take my marriage anytime!"

BERT: "Thank you, welcome, thank you!
Before we start I want to say one or two words about tomorrow night's great new show, The Faith Factory Show!"

fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffAUDIENCE: "Oooh!"    BERT: "And as a matter of fact..."

BERT (continued): "...we have in the studio audience tonight, the host and his lovely co-host.
Give a big hand, please, to Ralph Hapschatt and the vivacious Macy Struthers!"
(Audience cheers and applauds)

MALE AUDIENCE MEMBER (off-camera): "Hey Ralph!"
FEMALE AUDIENCE MEMBER (off-camera): "You look great!"
BERT: "Let's get a camera in there, for heaven's sake"

BERT: "Over the moon about that commercial, Macy!"                      MACY: "Thanks, Bert."

BERT: "Got a good show lined up for tomorrow night, Ralph?"              RALPH: "Ah, you bet, Bert!"
BERT: "Good! I'm gonna be there! Ain't we all, viewers?!"

BETTY: "Macy Struthers with my husband.  God, I must have been blind.
Still, the weaker the man, the dumber the blonde."