(Movie Version)

    The version of this song on the soundtrack is longer (by one added verse) than that featured in the film.  It seems probable that the added verse was filmed but edited out for pacing of film.  Regardless, here are the lyrics to the song, as they appear in the film.  This version can be found on the bootleg CDRs "Shock Treatment - The Remixes," "Shock Treatment - The Special Edition," and "Shock Treatment - Double Feature."

Harry: A man should call the toss, wear the pants, and be the boss
        A man should be the drake for his own damn sake
        And men should be the misters and the masters of their sisters
        A man should be the reason for a heart to break
Marines: So immoral, the world, fair and square is best
Women: Let me alert you that virtue won't hurt you or desert you
Men: If you wear hair on your chest
Audience: So always remember to follow the rules
Marines: Box clever
Men: And jock's never
Harry: Hock another jock's tools
        A man should wax a car, fix a fuse, and tend a bar
        A man should like his brow to be wet with sweat
        Men should know the right occasions to indulge in tax evasions
        A man should know the settings that his spark plugs get
        Faggots are maggots
        Thank god I'm a man.