The "Ultimate"
Audience Participation Script
For Shock Treatment

Scene 1: Opening/Overture

(Movie opens with the 20th Century Fox logo.)

            (SHOUT: "I don't want to see Star Wars again!") or

            (SHOUT: "20th Century Fucks...again.") then

            (SHOUT: "I'm still sore from the last one")

(When the logo disappears, the first scene opens up with a still shot of Farley, smoking. Credits begin scrolling near the bottom of the screen.)

            (SHOUT: "A long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, God said, let there be a sequel, and there was a sequel, and it was shit.")

            (SHOUT, to be shouted when the last letter of Richard O'Brien's name reaches almost center screen: "Ladies and gentlemen, the narrator for the Dukes of Hazzard") or

            (SHOUT: "Tell us a least-loved bedtime story, Mr. Mike!") or

            (SHOUT: "It's Alfred Hitchcock") or

            (SHOUT: "Hello, I'm William Castle with the stock report.")

Narrator: Once upon a time

            (SHOUT: "Where?") or

            (SHOUT: "In a galaxy far, far away") or
            (SHOUT: "Tuesday")

in a town

            (SHOUT: "Where?")

not far from yours,
            (SHOUT: "Too close") or

            (SHOUT: "Berwyn") (NOTE: You can use any small town in the area that you're seeing the movie at)

there lived a real fast

            (ECHO: "Fat")


            (SHOUT: "Just ask his girlfriend") or

            (SHOUT: "Mairo Andretti" or "The Flash" or "Steve Prefontaine")

His life was fast

            (ECHO: "Fat") or

            (ECHO: "His hands were fast")

His friends were fast

            (ECHO: "Fat") or

            (ECHO: "His fucks were fast")

Even his food was fast

            (ECHO: "Fat") or

            (ECHO: "Even his orgasms were fast")

But he was still not satisfied

            (ECHO: "Fatified") or

            (SHOUT: "Neither was his girlfriend")

He wanted to share his fast

            (ECHO: "Fat")

philosophy with

            (SHOUT: "Rosanne Barr")

            (SHOUT: "Was it Janet Reno") or

            (SHOUT: "Was it k.d. lang")

a beautiful girl

            (SHOUT: "Guess not") or

            (SHOUT: "I'd hate to see the ugly one") or

            (SHOUT: "Uma Thurman")

Trouble was,

            (SHOUT: "A board game") or

            (SHOUT: "There's always trouble in these movies")

she was in the arms of

            (SHOUT: "an asshole") or

            (SHOUT: "another beautiful girl?")

another man.

            (SHOUT: "Damn! I was hoping for some girl-girl stuff!") or

            (SHOUT: "Welcome to the Gong Show") or

            (ECHO: "Dave Thomas"or"Dr. Octopus")

(A gong sound is heard)

            (SHOUT: "Hey waiter, you forgot the Curry")

(The smoke begins to move)

            (SHOUT: "Welcome to the world of IMAX")

            (SHOUT: "Hey! No smoking in the auditorium - unless you plan on sharing that joint with us!")

(Music: "Overture")

(Camera pulls away, as monitors in background display DTV logo. When the camera pulls back enough to reveal the entire billboard, we see it's inside a television studio)

            (SHOUT: "Isn't that the billboard from the cemetary? They moved the tombstones but not the bodies!")

(Camera view shows Neely, her crew, Ralph and Macy sitting in the audience chairs)

            (SHOUT: "It's an audience for Shock Treatment before the movie starts")

(Suddenly, they stand up to leave)

            (SHOUT: "It's an audience for Shock Treatment after the movie starts.") or

            (SHOUT: "Ace is the place with the...")

(The floor manager approaches a door)

            (SHOUT: "Don't go in there - that's the ladies room")

(The floor manager knocks on the door)

           (SHOUT: "Well, at least he knocks first")

(The floor mananager enters the doorway)

            (SHOUT: "Let's hear your best Olive Oil impersonation") or

            (SHOUT: "Who was your favorite star of the movie Ghost? or The Color Purple?")

(The wardrobe mistress comes out of the door and walks the catwalk towards a corner, nearly crashing into a makeup girl.)

Wardrobe Mistress: Whoops!

(The second door opens up, and the floor manager steps out)

            (SHOUT: "He came out of the closet")

(He almost collides with the wardrope mistress)

            (SHOUT: "Whoops!")

(Floor manager takes the stairs down)

            (NOTE: The next set of shout lines should be yelled at an average pace, not rushed as the floor manager goes down the stairs. If all is timed right, the last shout line here should match the screen credit that appears)

            (SHOUT: "He's going down. He's going down the stairs. He's going down on the cast. He's going down on...Brian Thompson.")

(Credit reads "Brian Thompson")

(Credit reads "Costumes, Sue Blane")

            (SHOUT: "She's still to blame for the shitty costumes")

(Credit reads "Mike Malloy, B.S.S.)
            (SHOUT: "That's a bunch of B.S.")

(Credit reads "Editor, Richard Bedford")
            (SHOUT: "Richard's in bed with Ford - better edit that one") or

            (SHOUT: "Richard's in bed with Ford - At least he's not pointing to Gilligan's Dod)

            (SHOUT: "Let's hear someone with smoker's cough")

Harry: Good luck, honey.

            (SHOUT: in deep hoarse voice, "Thanks, dear")

(Credits read "John Goldstone")

            (SHOUT: "John's still got gullstones, they didn't pass")

(Credit reads "Jim Sharman")

            (SHOUT: "Don't squeeze the Sharman, part two")

(The floor manager approaches the bay door and points upward to open the door)

            (SHOUT: "I'll get you!"or"Seg heil!")

(The bay door opens)

           (AP: Have 3 or 4 fans run to the screen and pretend to be pushing the bay door open with a struggling look.)

(The audience rushes inside the studio)

            (SHOUT: "It's a riot at the Who concert") or

            (SHOUT: "Look! The new Beanie Babies are in!") or

            (SHOUT: "It's Austin Powers!") pause briefly, and then

            (SHOUT: "For one movie, and one movie only, it's Janet as...a bass")

Brad: What are we gonna do, Janet?

Janet: It's alright, Brad. Everything's gonna be alright.

            (ECHO: in a deep bass voice "It's alright, Brad. Everything's gonna be alright.")

            (NOTE: The humor in this is soon discovering that Jessica Harper's singing voice is no match to Susan Sarandon's soprano) and/or

            (SHOUT: "Not without Tim Curry")

(Brad and Janet head for the stadium stairs to take theirs seats. She wears her white purse on her shoulder.)

            (SHOUT: "Look, the bitch still has the same purse.")

            (SHOUT: "Looks like she's outgrown it")

(The audience members begin filling the seats.)

           (SHOUT: "Last one to sit down has to sleep with <fill in the blank with a name of a Rocky Horror fan>")

(Sign on stadium reads "It's Gotta Be DTV")

            (SHOUT: "It's gotta be dumb television") then

            (SHOUT: "It's gotta be a dumb sequel.")

(The camera pulls back slowly, turning upwards until we see the Denton Billboard sign)

            (SHOUT: "Denton, the home of horniness") or

            (SHOUT: "Denton, the home of homeliness") or

            (SHOUT: "Denton, the home of hopelessness")

(The scene switches to show several television monitors with the DTV logo on them)

            (SHOUT: "Disney Television on acid")

(The scene switches to show the Denton Dossier logo)

            (SHOUT: "Denton Douche Bag")