Scene 11: Preparing For
Janet: Well, Farley Flavors is - fairly flattering.
(ECHO: "A fucking faggot")
(SHOUT: "She's a sophmore!") or
(SHOUT: "I made a funny")
But, I wanna see Brad.
(SHOUT: "Naked") or
(SHOUT: "Nobody ever sees Brad, not no way, not no how")
Nation: But the question is, Janet, does Brad want to see you? Quite frankly he hates you.
Janet: What do you mean?
(SHOUT: "You're a bitch")
Cosmo: Brad is harboring deep feelings of hostility towards you, Janet.
(SHOUT OVER, overlapping next line: "You have to sleep with <fill in the blank with name of fan or Shock
Janet: Towards me?
(SHOUT: "Yes, you.")
Cosmo: Its classical. Almost a textbook case.
(SHOUT: "We wrote the book") or
(SHOUT OVER: "You also have to sleep with <fill in the blank with name of fan or Shock Treatment charactor>")
Janet: Oh no! (starts crying and buries face in her hands)
Cosmo: That's an extremely negative response.
(SHOUT: "I'd be negative too if I had to sleep with <fill in the name with previous name mention>")
Nation: Yes Janet, leave the crying to Brad.
(SHOUT/sing: "He's my asshole, and I'll cry if I want to")
Janet: Is it because I'm becoming too popular?
(SHOUT: "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!")
Bert: On the contrar,y Janet. He wants to see your ratings soar!
(ECHO: "your pussy sore")
He needs a woman of exceptional desirability.
(SHOUT: "Call 1-800-Nymphos") or
(SHOUT: "Like Susan Sarandan")
Nation: So you see Janet, you can help us to help him.
(ECHO: "Blow him") and then
(SHOUT: "Hey Janet, do you think you can fuck everyone in the audience tonight?")
Janet: Maybe I can.
(Scene switch to Terminal Ward. Ansalong is just leaving and Ricky is locking Brad's cage. Brad sits in his chair
in a straitjacket rocking his chair.)
(SHOUT/sing: "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen...") or
(SHOUT/sing: "I can't get it out of my head")
(Scene switch to Farley watching his TV.)
(Scene switch to Betty and Oliver in the research lab throwing away papers.)
(SHOUT OVER the start of this scene: "Here's the scripts they were going to use for the sequel
to Rocky Horror. Thank God we used the good one.")
(Betty proceeds to throw the papers away).
Floor Manager: (Over PA system) Standby for Faith Factory rehearsal.
Betty: I bet that Macy Struthers had a hand in this.
(SHOUT: "I smell fish")
Oliver: Uh huh.
Betty: We'll probably be replaced by an hour of fashion tips.
(SHOUT: "Get a clue Betty")
Oliver: Now Betty don't over react.
Betty: Over react?
You're the one with theories about conspiracies
(SHOUT: "Starring Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts") and/or
(SHOUT: "I want to come")
(SHOUT: "My face, bitch") or
(SHOUT OVER: "Do you fuck monkeys?")
Oliver: Yes Betty?
Betty: Are you spoken for this evening?
(SHOUT OVER: "Do you want a blow job?")
(Oliver's brows raise)
(Scene switch to Dentonvale conference room. Cosmo and Nation are reading folders.)
(SHOUT: "Hey, does anyone know the morse code for S.O.S.? Hey Bert, what's the morse code for S.O.S.?") or
(SHOUT: "The Titanic is sinking quick! Bert, what's morse code for S.O.S?")
(Bert taps his cane on the tabletop).
(SHOUT: "No wonder it sank")
Bert: All right, you guys. An early start tomorrow for Janet's debut on Good Morning Denton.
(SHOUT: "What's a day-boo?")
By the time we unveil Farley's Faith Factory Show we will have all earned our beauty sleep.
(SHOUT: "You'll need it") or
(SHOUT: "Sleep in tomorrow")
Janet: Could I just peep in on Brad before I go home?
(SHOUT: "Peep peep!") or
(SHOUT: "Nobody ever sees Brad, not no way, not no how")
(SHOUT: "A residential building, but that's not important right now.")
(SHOUT/sing: "On the range...") or
Nation: This is the nerve center of operations, Janet.
(SHOUT: "It's got a phone and everything!")
You must stay here tonight. That way we can all be together when Mr. Sun paints us a new day with his golden brush.
(SHOUT: "I'm gonna puke") or
(SHOUT: "Romper Bomper Stomper Boo") then
(SHOUT: "Wasn't that a Nazi movie? - Australian") or
Cosmo: And you can peep in on Brad in the morning.
(SHOUT: "Oh") or
(SHOUT: "I'm sad")
(SHOUT: "No, I always wear black")
(Ansalong and Ricky enter)
Nation: Are all the beds made up?
(SHOUT: "They apoligized.")
Ansalong: Oh yes, I plumped up all the pillows and changed up all th-
(SHOUT: "Shut up!")
Cosmo: Then lock up for the night.
(SHOUT: "You fucked up, bitch, get your tits off my tank!")
(Ansalong and Ricky leave.)
(Scene shift to outside the studio. The Cop is walking around and securing the perimeter, shining his flashlight on the
(SHOUT: "Why can't I find a dime when I need one?") or
(SHOUT: "He's looking for bugs, man!")
(The camera moves up onto a fire escape where Oliver and Betty are entering)
(SHOUT: "Discuss your sex lives") or
(SHOUT: "Betty found her G-spot!")
Oliver: Clever of you to find this spot, Betty
Betty: It pays to know your way around Oliver.
(SHOUT: "How well do you know your way around Oliver?") or
(SHOUT: "And boy, has she been around!")
I thought the Home Of Happiness would give your theory a new perspective.
(SHOUT: "Walter Jacobson")
Oliver: A stately pleasure home indeed.
Betty: Oh! I adore Coleridge Taylor!
(SHOUT: "The fifth Beatle") or
(SHOUT: "Especially Fire And Rain")
As a matter of fact
(Betty rummages through her handbag)
(SHOUT: "My vibrator's in here somewhere")
(Betty pulls out a book, opens it and removes a sheet of paper)
(SHOUT: "Here's my bill of sale")
It is an ancient mariner
And hestoppeth one of three
By thy long grey beard
And glittering eye
Now wherefore stopp'st, thou me?
(NOTE: Your group should SHOUT a limerick of choice. Your cast/group could make up a limerick about a shock
treatment character so it's easier for others to remember or pick a common/popular one if you'd like. Read it over
her spout of poetry reading. Here's the example that seems to stick with the Kansas City fan club: "There once was a
whore from Peru - who filled her pussy with glue - she said with a grin - If they'll pay to get in - then they'll pay to
get out of me too.").
(SHOUT: "Hey Olly, she's horny!") or
(SHOUT: "Hey Oliver, wanna fuck?")
(Olly moans, looking a little worried)
(SHOUT: "Hey Janet, Do you spit or swallow?") or
(SHOUT: "Janet, what do you do after a blowjob?")
(Scene changes to show Janet brushing her teeth, with Ansalong in doorway. Janet spits)
(SHOUT: "She didn't spit when I was with her.")
GO TO SCENE 12
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