The "Ultimate"
Audience Participation Script
For Shock Treatment

Scene 18: Shock Treatment


(T
(Song: "Shock Treatment")
 
 

(Drum track begins, sort of a "tribal" feel)

                    (SHOUT: "Jumanji!") or

                    (SHOUT: "Wipeout!") or

                    (SHOUT: "Survivor: Dentonvale!!")

                    (NOTE: A few times during the start of this song, we can see Janet moving her arm to the beat of the music.
                    However, it "looks" like she's masterbating Bert. Make jokes as necessary)

                    (SHOUT: "Say something we don't understand")

Cosmo: I'm not a locum with motives to suture myself

                    (SHOUT: "What?")

          I've been a cynic for too many years

                    (SHOUT: "What do you do with your sister?")

          Playing doctor and nursey can't be good for your health

          I've seen clinics, with those gimmicks in Tangiers.

                    (SHOUT: "Thank you, Dr. Benway")

Nation: But if you open your heart

                    (ECHO: "legs") or

                    (ECHO: "crotch")

          to a smooth operator

                    (SHOUT: "Sade") or

                    (SHOUT: "One ringadingy, two ringadingies…") or

                    (SHOUT: "Hold please")

          He'll take you for all that you've got

          He'll hand you a curse

                    (ECHO: "purse")

          that'll be with you later

                    (ECHO: "that'll hold a vibrator") or

                    (SHOUT: "Lon Chaney")

          It'll shake ya the way he takes off

                    (SHOUT: "I'm thirsty")

          Like a shot

                    (SHOUT: "Make it a double") or

                    (SHOUT: "Bang!")

Cosmo: You need a bit of, ooh, Shock Treatment

(Bert's glasses get crushed. We can see his eyes)

                    (SHOUT: "Aaaah!" - "At least he isn't naked") or

                    (SHOUT: "The only place he got sunburnt is underneith his sunglasses")

                    (Another SHOUT you can yell for Bert is "I'm feeling beautiful!") or

                    (SHOUT: "I feel so fancy!")

          Yes you're jumping like a real live wire.

          You need a bit of, ooh, Shock Treatment

          So look out mister, don't you blow your last resistor

                    (ECHO: "Don't you blow your little sister")

          For a vista

                    (ECHO: "fister")

          that'll mystify ya!

                    (ECHO: "satisfy ya")

Ansalong: You're blinded by romance

          You're blinded by science

                    (SHOUT: "She blinded me with science")

                    (SHOUT: "She blinded me with beaver!") or

                    (SHOUT OVER: "I paid $2 to see this film, I wanna see a beaver shot") or

                    (SHOUT: "I'm a little worried about the Beaver")

(Ansalong swings seductively on the cage)

          You're condition is critically grave

                    (SHOUT: "Dead")

          But don't expect mercy

                    (SHOUT: "You're welcome") or

                    (SHOUT: "Mercy, mercy, mercy")

          from such and alliance

          Suspicion of tradition's so new wave

                    (SHOUT OVER: "Hey Brad, Cosmo's gone. You can go home now.")

(Cosmo pops up behind Brad, startling him)

                    (SHOUT: "Psych!")

                    (NOTE: For remaining two choruses, you can use the same ECHOES as the first chorus)

Cosmo: You need a bit of, ooh, Shock Treatment

          Yes you're jumping like a real live wire

          You need a bit of

                    (SHOUT OVER: "It's the Cranberries")

          Ooh, Shock Treatment

          So look out mister, don't you blow your last resistor

          For a vista that'll certify ya! (fy ya, fy ya, fy ya!)

                    (SHOUT: "Don't yell fire in a crowded theater." - "Crowded theater? Where?")

          You need a bit of, ooh, Shock Treatment

          Yes you're jumping like a real live wire

          You need a bit of, ooh, Shock Treatment

          So look out mister, don't you blow your last resistor

          For a vista that'll certify ya! (fy ya, fy ya, fy ya!)

(Everyone gets up and dances around Brad's cage.)

                    (SHOUT: "Hey everybody, try to grab the ass in front of you!")

(Farley is dancing in hisoffice. Betty and Oliver are watching from above)

Betty: Look at that!

                    (SHOUT: "The Macarena!")

          Bert Schniks' dancing!

                    (SHOUT: "You call that dancing?")

          Bert can see!

                    (SHOUT: "It's a miracle! Hallelujah!") or

                    (SHOUT: "Clarence was right!")

Oliver: Macabre isn't it.

                    (SHOUT: "What?")

          The blind leading the blind.

                    (SHOUT: "They're trying to find the corner") or

                    (ECHO: "The bland leading the bland")

(Everyone dances out of the Terminal Ward)
 
 


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