Scene 21: You've Got Guests
/ Betty & Ollie's New Wardrobe
(Crowd is heard chanting in the background, "Janet Janet, we want Janet")
(ECHO chant: "Janet, Janet, wake up, Janet")
(Nation is waking up Janet)
Nation: Janet? Janet? Wake up Janet.
(SHOUT: "She's slow, but she's got the idea")
You've got guests.
(ECHO: "crabs") or
(SHOUT or ECHO: "You've got mail!")
You can come in now!
(SHOUT: "and out, and in, and out, and in")
(The band enters)
Brenda: Hi, Janet!
Frankie: How are you feeling?
(ECHO: "What's your favorite Who song?")
Janet: Who are you?
(SHOUT/sing: "ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh")
Oscar: The band!
Janet: Do you have any friends?
(SHOUT: "Joey, Rachel, Chandler, …")
Janet: You won't have soon.
(ECHO: "...after this film")
What are you called - your band?
Glitch: Oscar Drill and the Bits.
(ECHO: "Robin Hood and His Merry Men") or
(SHOUT OVER: "Hanson") or
(SHOUT OVER: "Wham!")
(Janet passes out with an "Ungh".)
(SHOUT OVER: "And now, Kate Winslet from Titanic")
(Janet lowers her hat over her face, similar to a scene in Titanic)
(Scene switches to wardrobe room. Wardrobe mistress is leaving. When she leaves, Betty and Oliver come out of
hiding, and begin dressing as a Nurse and Doctor.)
(SHOUT: "Let's play dress-up")
Oliver: Betty, its imperative we get Janet out of Farley's fast fingers and Brad out of that hell hole before they both
(SHOUT: "But Janet loves fast fingers")
(SHOUT: "And Brad loves hell holes")
(Oliver finishes his new attire with a headband that sports a circular mirror in front)
(SHOUT OVER: "I can't find the CD that I glued to my head band….hmmm…")
Betty: I don't mind telling you, Oliver, I'm not looking forward to this.
(SHOUT: "A pap smear?")
Oliver: If only I could place that name. McKinley.
(SHOUT: "My high school gym teacher!")
Betty: It was a president.
Oliver: Presidents. Past presidents.
(SHOUT OVER: "One plus one IS three!")
Betty, this is beginning to add up.
(Betty is having difficulty pinning her name tag on her nurse uniform)
What do I pin this on?
(SHOUT: "Richard Jewel")
Oliver: Faith Betty.
(ECHO: "Your tit, Betty")
But make sure its your own.
(SHOUT: "Thanks little Buddha")
(Scene shift to Farley's office. Wardrobe mistress is putting on the finishing touches. Cop has just entered)
(SHOUT: "Farley's gotta pee!") or
(SHOUT: "What do you say to a premature ejaculator?")
Wardrobe Mistress: In a hurry, Mr. Flavors?
Cop: There's a little lady
(SHOUT: "Dr. Ruth") or
(SHOUT: "Estelle Getty")
he doesn't want to keep waiting. And a date.
(SHOUT OVER: "And now for a stupid question")
Wardrobe Mistress: Who is Mr. Flavors?
(SHOUT: "He's standing in front of you, bitch")
Farley: The past.
(SHOUT: "Oh, Zsa Zsa")
(Cop lights Farley's cigar)
GO TO SCENE 22
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