Scene 23: Janet's Transformation
/ Betty's Discovery / The Band's Introduction
(Scene switch to Janet's dressing room)
Janet: Oh Brad.
Nation: He's an emotional cripple, remember? Even he wouldn't like to see you like this.
(SHOUT: "He'd rather see you naked")
(The door opens up, we see many reporters with microphones. Ralph is trying to get into the door and keep them out)
(SHOUT: "I'm innocent, dammit! Innocent!")
Neely: Listen, Ralph, I just want to speak with someone. If I don't get in now, right now, there's going to be trouble!
(SHOUT: "with the pop-o-matic bubble")
Ralph: Later Neely, okay?
(Ralph slams door)
(SHOUT: "And now, the Frank Gifford story")
Ralph: How is she. Well, come on. Farley's expecting her any minute. You guys get your asses in front of those
(Beavis & Butthead SHOUT: "heh, heh, he said asses. No wonder its rated PG") or
(SHOUT: "Moon river")
and try and earn yourselves a reputation, okay? Well move!
(Ralph opens the door to leave. The reporters are still there, hounding him)
Neely: We just wanna ask a few questions. We've gotta know what happened!
(SHOUT: "To Fay Wray") or
(SHOUT: "To Saturday night") or
(SHOUT: "To the concept of a good sequel")
Oscar: These are for you, Janet.
(SHOUT: "Breath mints. You need 'em!")
Glitch: They'll make you feel a whole lot better.
(SHOUT: "Fear & Loathing in Denton")
(They leave. Nation stares at the drugs Oscar left behind)
(SHOUT: "What's your favorite kind of porn?")
(ECHO: "Tic Tacs....") then
(SHOUT: "Here, have some red hots")
Cheerleaders: Give us a J!
(ECHO: "...an R")
(ECHO: "...an O")
(ECHO: "...a C")
(ECHO: "...a K")
Cheerleaders: Give us a T!
(ECHO: "...a Y")
Cheerleaders: We can't hear you!
(SHOUT: "Neither can they!") or
(SHOUT OVER: "What's that spell?")
(SHOUT: "That's not what it spells!")
(Betty opens up the research room door)
(SHOUT: "Angie Dickinson is Police Woman")
(She goes to a computer, researching the name McKinley.)
(NOTE: As this scene starts, sing the theme to Mission Impossible)
(The computer beeps as it comes up with information.)
(SHOUT: "What are you doing, Dave?") or
(SHOUT: "Let's play Global Thermonuclear War") or
(SHOUT: "So how do I access this cybersex thing I've been hearing so much about?")
Betty: Oh my God!
(SHOUT: "George Burns!") or
(SHOUT OVER: "Tim Curry and Bill Paxton")
(SHOUT: "Dabney Coleman")
(Scene switches to the set of Faith Factory. We can see a man polishing a red throne)
(SHOUT: "Isn't that Frank's throne?")
(Oliver, in doctor outfit, taps the man on his shoulder and points to the large photo on the wall)
(SHOUT: "Look, there's a booger on his nose!")
(The man inspects the large photo)
(SHOUT: "That's not a booger, that's smurf cum! Smurf's one, Movie two")
(Audience cheers. Scene switch back to Betty who is now snooping around for information about Farley Flavors on microfilm. We see
the numbers 4711)
(AP: Make references to 4711)
(Scene switch back to Neely.)
Neely: And so if you're a follower of exotic trends in fashion, you'll find plenty to keep you going here tonight.
(SHOUT: "Thank God, something to keep us in the theater")
And naturally feeling the excitement, and not wanting to stick out like a sore thumb, I had to get a little outfit of my own together.
And this is it.
(SHOUT: "The Swiss Miss Girl")
(Crowd claps. Betty is now looking at microfilm of a newspaper. We eventually see a message in the bottom corner about aliens in
(AP: Make verbal references to Rocky Horror)
(The newspaper will also show a big headline: IKES! TWINS!)
Ralph: Ladies and gentlemen, to help get you in the mood for Faith Factory, DTV proudly presents Denton's own
(SHOUT: "Fuck up, try again)
with a suburban garage sound,
(SHOUT: "Hole in a blender")
let's hear it for Oscar Drill and The Bits!
(SHOUT: "Oh I get it")
Betty: (Understanding that Farley is Brad's vengeful twin brother) Oh, Oliver.
(SHOUT: "My face")
This is one time charity didn't begin at home.
GO TO SCENE 24
RETURN TO AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION SCRIPT MAIN PAGE
RETURN TO THE SHOCK TREATMENT NETWORK