The "Ultimate"
Audience Participation Script
For Shock Treatment

Scene 28: Anyhow Anyhow


(T
(Song: "Anyhow Anyhow")

                    (ECHO: "Look, there's a bloody glove in OJ's yard!") or

                    (ECHO: "Look, they're giving out free donuts!") or

                    (ECHO: "Look, they're giving out free enemas!")

Brad: Some people do it for compassion

Janet: Some people do it for the fashion

                    (ECHO: "Some people do in their ass and")

Brad: Some people do it to be funny

                    (SHOUT: "And then there's Betty")

Janet: Some people do it for the money

                    (ECHO: "...with their honey") or

                    (ECHO: "…with a bunny")

Oliver: Some people do it for enslavement

                    (SHOUT: "It's Betty's Miracle Hairpin!") or

                    (SHOUT: "And for pain?")

Betty: Some people do it on the pavement

                    (SHOUT: "Hopscotch!")

(Betty unlocks the door with her hairpin)

                    (SHOUT: "in your")

Oliver: But...

(All four of them conga out of the office and dance towards the audience seats.)

All 4: We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow

                    (ECHO: "with a cow, with a cow")

          We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow

                    (ECHO: "With a cow, with a cow")

          We're gonna do it

          No matter how the wind is blowing

                    (ECHO: "...how the cow is mooing")

          We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow

                    (ECHO: "with a cow, with a cow")

          We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow

                    (ECHO: "with a cow, with a cow")

          We're gonna do it

          We just gotta keep going

                    (ECHO: "keep screwing") or

                    (SHOUT: "Like the energizer bunny")

                    (NOTE: In this next verse, whenever the couples kick twice, echo with their kicks: "Kick - Kick!")

Brad & Janet: Some people do it for each other

Betty & Oliver: Some people do it for their lover

                    (ECHO: "with their mother")

Brad & Janet: Some people do it for improvement

                    (SHOUT: "Home improvement")

Betty & Oliver: Some people do it for the movement

                    (ECHO: "for bowel movement")

Brad & Janet: Some people do it for enjoyment

                    (SHOUT: "and Betty?") or

                    (SHOUT: "and fill in blank with fan name?")

Betty & Oliver: Some people do it for employment

                    (SHOUT: "in your") or

                    (SHOUT: "Up somebody's")

Oliver: But...

(All four dance down the aisles to the stage to see Oscar Drill and the Bits waiting for them in and on the
convertible.)

                    (SHOUT/sing: "It's Grease Lightning!")

                    (NOTE: Repeat same echoes from first chorus)

All 4: We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow

          We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow

          We're gonna do it

          No matter how the wind is blowing

                    (SHOUT: "Blow me now, ask me how")

          We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow

          We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow

          We're gonna do it

          We just gotta keep going

(Scene shifts to the McKinley's office. Farley is standing on the desk and has just opened a bottle of champagne and is drinking a toast with
the Faith Factory cast and others. Cameras follow the audience, now clad in their straight jackets and Faith Factory hats, along the wall to
the Terminal Ward. They are singing)

                    (AP: When you see the audience in striped straightjackets, SHOUT: "Hi, welcome to Footlocker, can I help
                    you?")

Audience: Denton, Denton

                    (SHOUT: "Oh shit! The movie's started over again!")

          You've got no pretension

          You're where the heart is

          You're okay!

                    (SHOUT: "In Texas")

(Scene shows Cosmo's Office. Farley is standing on his desk, arms wide open, as his new friends surround him. We can see Macy being
spanked)

                    (SHOUT: "Macy likes a little spanking!")

          Denton, Denton

          I'd just like to mention

          You're the acceptable face

          Of the human race

          You're Denton, Denton USA!

(Scene shift back to the stage. The band has just pushed open the studio door)

                    (AP: Run to the screen and open the door)

                    (SHOUT: "Hey everybody! This is the way to leave Shock Treatment!")

(Betty has just jump-started the car with her hairpin.)

                    (SHOUT: "It's Betty and her Miracle Hairpin") or

                    (SHOUT: "Those years Betty spent in Harlem have paid off")

                    (NOTE: Repeat same echoes from first chorus of "Anyhow Anyhow")

All 4: We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow

          We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow

          We're gonna do it

          No matter how the wind is blowing

                    (SHOUT: "The answer is blowing in the wind")

          We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow

          We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow

          We're gonna do it

          We just gotta keep going

          We just gotta keep going

          We just gotta keep going

                    (SHOUT: "and going and going...")

(Brad, Janet, Oliver, Betty, and the band, all get into the car and drive off. The door closes behind them.)

Narrator: The sun never sets on those who ride into it.

                    (ECHO: "The sun never rides into those who sit upon it")

                    (SHOUT: "What?")

All 4: We just gotta keep going

                    (SHOUT: "Oh") or

                    (SHOUT: "Badee, badee, that's all folks") or

                    (SHOUT: "Thank God that shit's over") then

                    (SHOUT: "Oh shit! There's more!")
 
 
 
 
 


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